Saturday, November 26, 2011


12 weeks...12 weeks is a turning point....a time when moms to be breathe a little sigh of relief. The end of March 2011, I was 12 weeks pregnant...or so we thought. Not an easy thing to take....we should have a 6 week old baby...

On Nov. 11, 2011, I went in for another 12 week appointment. Just a little bit nervous, Ava and I walked into the  little office. We had already seen the heartbeat in the ultrasound at 8 weeks but I was still a bit tense. The nurse used her little machine to listen for a heartbeat....after about 3 minutes of nothing, I cried. Not again. Please, not again. Another 2 minutes went by...still nothing. She told me she would order an ultrasound and walked out. I cried. We waited. Ava was so sweet and kept asking if I was sad and reached up to dry my tears. My midwife walked in...she's awesome. She asked me if she could listen and if I wanted to have another ultrasound. I told her that I only wanted one if she couldn't hear anything. She used the little machine again and tried to hear that little heartbeat. A couple of minutes went by....still nothing. I cried again. Then she said, "You know what? The battery light on this thing is flashing...I'm going to get a new one...we need this thing to be full power." Then she patted my arm, told me not to "go there" yet and walked out. My heart was pounding...this was it. If we couldn't hear it with a full powered machine, then we knew. After an eternity and a half, she walked back in. She moved the wand around for less than a minute....there it was. She found it. That speedy little thump, thump, thump was music to my ears. I cried again. We just sat there for awhile and listened. It was beautiful. I think that there will still be a little be a bit of apprehension and nervousness until the baby is born....assume nothing and take nothing for granted. 
We can hardly wait for the end of May :)

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